No Phone Zone

The crazy sh*t I get into when I’m 90% blocked off of social media consumption

I bought the brick for my problematic symptoms of phone addiction, aka rotting, aka digital heroin. Now I never want to be on social media because it is such a relief to come up for air and breathe.

What kind of crazy sh*t did I get into because I suddenly had uninterrupted time, you ask? Well, I became a forager (you can watch the video here). I have a black walnut tree and in this season, it’s fruit will fall off the tree, BANG on the roof, then roll down and off. One day I thought “We have this tree in our backyard that’s actually producing food, like REAL LIVE FOOD! I should figure out how to eat of the tree in my backyard!” So I researched black walnut trees and found so many good ole boys teaching me the ways. I just jumped in.

The one lesson I’ve learned that I’ll share is that any time, and I mean ANY TIME someone (especially my dad, no offense dad) says “This will be easy!” NEVER EVER EVER EVER believe them.

Turns out foraging is an insane amount of work. And it will dye your hands and face brown if it splatters. And I didn’t have the right drill. And it dyed the bottom of my crocs (plus my driveway) a hideous puke green. I had to buy a big trash can, an egg beater anvil, a Nut Wizard, mesh seafood baggies, and Grandpa’s Goody Getter.

My 9 year old neighbor, who loves to dress like a pilgrim and play ‘pilgrims’ with her mom and dad said “This is how the pilgrims did it” and I was like yeah you right.

Once bagging them all up (after pressure washing then drying them completely for a few days) I have to wait 6 weeks. So now I’m waiting with green mesh bags of nuts hanging in my garage, checking on them occasionally and moving them around. I haven’t resorted to talking to them yet but don’t put it past me, I get attached way too easily these days. Which is why I got the brick.